The boss said:
“Here’s 300 of these ‘Something More For Less’ signs. Put ’em around the store.”
And the clerk said:
“F that. Imma just put ’em all in one aisle.”
Category: signs
Let’s Make Our Tellers Unemployed
Why don’t they just come out and say it?
“The more you do for yourself, the less we do for you.”
“And the less we do for you, the more money we make. And the more money we make…well, you get the idea.”
Marketing By Crazy J
On the subway, a rather sloppy ad for The Guardian Angels. It’s not like they bought ad space and have an agency running their campaign.
That’s what happens when you have CRAZY J handling your media.
Exile On Main Street, Apartment 6F, Leave With Doorman
I think when Home Depot sponsored Nine Inch Nails’ “Sheetrock Tour” the Stones were all:
“WHO DOES TRENT REZNOR THINK HE IS?! GET US A CORPORATE SPONSOR NOW!!”
other bonus throwaway jokes include:
“Can’t ya hear me knockin’ because this package cannot be delivered without a signature”
“I can’t get no overnight shipping”
“Sympathy For The Bubble Wrap”
“Give my 2 pound package shelter”
Just Display The Magic Words And Watch The Madness Begin
Sometimes its it’s very hard to articulate what exactly a consumer is seeking. When all else fails, why not: NEED WANT NOW
A Double Negative Equals A Positive
So wait, does this mean “Iron Means Iron?” Or does the first iron cancel out the second iron and that they are really saying is “MEANS?!” I think I just blew my own mind.
Become a Patron!
I Can’t Wait To be Slaughtered!
Maybe it’s just me but when I see ads for meat with animals as cartoon characters, I feel worse when they’re made to look happy.
Pigs don’t smile before they’re slaughtered. Pigs don’t smile. Period.
Don’t Get Caught In This Aisle
Kinda like “shampoo and conditioner” but worse.
I Only Pee On First Quality!
Luckily I found this urinal just in time. WHEW!
Because It’s Illegal To Be Naked?
Because otherwise we would scare the children?
Why? Did I screw up getting dressed again?? Shit!!
I dunno. Why do you advertise?
Because loincloths are SO 10,000 BC?
Because you came up with an ad campaign so stupid I could write these jokes all day