Tap, Shop, Use Sushi As Parachute … or something…

The illustrator just lost their mind on this one.

Raw Tuna is a parachute

I’m not sure why a piece of sushi should be used as a parachute to promote a shopping delivery service.

Maybe when you get delivery it’s like a giant piece of raw fish falling from the sky with gumdrop clouds floating and let’s not forget the giant lump of white rice all of which could never slow the descent of a person that jumped from a plane.

Sushichute maybe??

Ocean Bound Windex

I am misreading it but this seems to be just screaming at me:
“THIS BOTTLE IS HEADED STRAIGHT TO THE GREAT PACIFIC TRASH GYRE!! DON’T YOU WORRY!!!”

Pacific Ocean Windex

The copy on this label has a just a little too much emphasis on the words “Ocean Bound Plastic” which kinda overwhelms the lil’ “bottle made of”

Mislabeled Label

Will The Stock Photographer On LSD Please Stop Shooting

Brain Gumball What The Fucking Fuck

No I mean it. In the nicest way, stop.

This raises a LOT of questions, including:

  1. What makes you think this connotes learning or intelligence.
  2. Where did you find small colored brains to fit into a gumball machine?
  3. Do you realize you are reducing brain power and knowledge to the simplicity of putting a quarter in a slot and turning a crank??
  4. After I put the coin in and turn the crank does this mean I can then use that brain or has it been severed from its original host and is now just a mass of neurons and with no awareness or functional capability??

I guess I should mention this was taken from my day job’s company’s website for internal training. That is why a lotta stuff is redacted. But you can see who is responsible for this mess. Yeah, those people!

Red Junior And His Bottle Gang

Found this “Pocket Pub” flask hanging on the shelf in the beverage aisle. Some funny stuff going on here:

Pocket Liquor License

I guess that ol’ hip flask model is just not cool anymore  old school how we do

Just because you fill this with 8oz of booze doesn’t mean you’re carrying around an entire PUB in your POCKET

My favorite: the lil’ gang of miscreants tucked in the upper right-hand corner.

Stock photo agency wouldn’t permit their faces to promote drunk and disorderly behavior.

The silhouettes make ’em look shady though.

 

This Is Just Sad

Everybody knows sales drop off the closer you get to the freight elevator.

The Manager had to find a place to shove the Deer Park water bottles they were pushing. Knowing this was not a good spot he asked one of the stock boys to make a simple sign, nothing fancy. Good signage is the mark of smart marketing.

And there it is.

And the stuff just flew off the shelves. Flew.

Dead Animals. It’s What’s For Dinner

You can always make ’em cute with lots of bright colors.  But they are still, and always will be:

Dead animals that we eat.  

deadduckmillion

deadpig2
Yeah, THAT should put your life in order. Being beheaded, then slow roasted so that the meat falls off your bones. Yes indeed!
duckfucked
Take a good look at this and consider: it is a headless cartoon duck with a tuxedo presenting itself to you on a silver platter. Oh yeah, WITH a stopwatch in the breast pocket and a martini. Yup…that is what you are seeing.