Play around all you want with your cappucinos and your smoothies Argo Tea. But once you start slapping -puccino on everything or corrupting the word “smoothie” to sound an awful like the last name of Senator Reed Smoot co-author of the Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act of 1930, you are stepping on very shaky ground, very shaky ground indeed!
Why don’t they just come out and say it?
“The more you do for yourself, the less we do for you.”
“And the less we do for you, the more money we make. And the more money we make…well, you get the idea.”
Sign up with this energy company and get 5,000 US Airways dividend miles. Maybe?
The copywriter stared at a lamp too long, got hypnotized and the lamp wrote the copy so the premise is that the lamp gets to stay on. Huh?
Well, see, you’ll get energy so cheap from Energy Plus, that you’ll leave lights on. And while those lights are on, you’ll earn miles. And the jet engine’s silhouette will glow in an eerie white on the lampshade. And you can fly all over the world…for free. And burn jet fuel…and increase your carbon footprint…and all these good things happen just because you stared at that lamp.
Love the Lamp…it is your friend.
From the Museum of Marketing Madness Archives, I know they merged back in 2012 with United. But even before the merger, and things were sloppy, this is just sad.
Our commitment remains the same: When you fly in our planes, you will land. You might land in the wrong airport. You might crash.
But you will land.
That is…before GLUTEN came along and ruined everything….
The Advertising Will Make You Throw Up
It’s the comedy rule of threes. If you have 2 statements, you need that third to make it funny.
If she’s never impressed. Then she can’t say she’s never impressed.
“This statement is false. I’m not lying.”
Yes even the often overlooked catalog for cleaning supplies has gems of Marketing Madness. Is it a horse? A hog??! ALL OF THAT AND MORE! IT’S A WORKHORSE DUST HOG!!
Because you may want to find out who made the olive oil that poisoned you.
Take your sad, sports-obsessed, testosterone-fueled life and make it one thing: a big ugly giant ear, with stumpy legs and short arms.
And just stand there.
Because that’s all you are.