Category: slogans
Comedy Rule Of Threes
The Advertising Will Make You Throw Up
It’s the comedy rule of threes. If you have 2 statements, you need that third to make it funny.
All Things Stupidy
Wordplay is not a game and should only be done by professionals. This contractor may know his basements but hasn’t learned:
YOU CAN’T CREATE AN ADJECTIVE BY ADDING A ‘Y.’
NOTHING is ‘basementy’ so all things canNOT be basementy.
And, btw, dude. The umbrella. Not basementy in the least. Srsly?!
We Promise We Will Land At An Airport
From the Museum of Marketing Madness Archives, I know they merged back in 2012 with United. But even before the merger, and things were sloppy, this is just sad.
Our commitment remains the same: When you fly in our planes, you will land. You might land in the wrong airport. You might crash.
But you will land.
Dude, Where’s My Paper?
From Bill & Ted’s Excellent Catalog of Office Supplies
Pretty Much Covers All The Bases
With a sign like this it’s that simple; your customer knows who you are and what you sell.
None of this “Old Navy,” “Banana Republic,” “Victoria’s Secret” vagueness.
Argo Tea … you’ll be hearing from Al Pacino’s lawyer … AND The Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act
Play around all you want with your cappucinos and your smoothies Argo Tea. But once you start slapping -puccino on everything or corrupting the word “smoothie” to sound an awful like the last name of Senator Reed Smoot co-author of the Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act of 1930, you are stepping on very shaky ground, very shaky ground indeed!
Let’s Make Our Tellers Unemployed
Why don’t they just come out and say it?
“The more you do for yourself, the less we do for you.”
“And the less we do for you, the more money we make. And the more money we make…well, you get the idea.”
Marketing Madness In Trade Catalogs
Yes even the often overlooked catalog for cleaning supplies has gems of Marketing Madness. Is it a horse? A hog??! ALL OF THAT AND MORE! IT’S A WORKHORSE DUST HOG!!
Popcorn Is So, So, I Dunno … POPCORN!
Marketing Madness means: Do Something Different. Even if different isn’t different…it’s different. Hence: PIPCORN.
Why “Pipcorn?”
Because it’s smaller. Sort of. Because how often are you eating popcorn thinking:
“Damn it! I wish this was smaller so I could shove more of this shit in my mouth!!”