Look At My Face On The Side Of A Building With Rectanguler Holes In My Head!!

Got this mailer for one of those financial advisors offering a webinar to help with retirement. I ask you: Why would I give my money to a guy who has gaping rectangular holes in his head!? WHY!?!?

Naz Dick Nas Dick Head

Yes, yes we know it’s supposed to be the Nasdaq building in Times Square.


But it is also your face on a building with GAPING RECTANGULAR HOLES IN YOUR HEAD!!



Watermelon Color Bumble Bee Halloween Candy Shampoo Yogurt Rice Starch

Much to critique and demolish here … join me!

Fructis Garnier Drink Yogurt Shampoo


I get that the message here is WATERMELON RED fruity healthy upbeat happy. But that shampoo bottle looks a little too much like a yogurt drink, right?


And while they’re throwing COLORdid anyone stop to think what color represents “Yes” and which “No.” Red/Green = Stop/Go, right? Yes, no? Not really, sorta.
Rice Starch: “Yes AND Green!”
Silicones:”No AND Green!”
Plumping: “Yes AND Red!”
What is Plumping: “Yes!!
Columns to organize information: WTF?! No but YES!!! 



And finally. how did Halloween colors and costumes get mixed up in here? And why is Drew Barrymore wearing a bumble bee costume? Is it Fall already?! Summer’s over???

Drew Bumblbeeee

I Want To Kill Something. Do I Need A Squad Or A Hunter?

From 2 competing direct-mail pieces doing the same damned thing arriving on the same damned day:


Hunters Kill ... leave the kids and dog aloneSquads can kill and are more of a team and not has deadly. Lighten up!



The only good mosquito hunter is a dead mosquito hunter

The only bad mosquito is a live mosquito

Okay, so Mosquito Hunter has a nice sorta Nigel Thornberry (Of the Wild Thornberry’s cartoon) vibe.

Safari Hunter Dude with Australian bush hat

But, really, he’s kinda holding the mosquito like a pet.

Then again, he’s about to crush the bastard.

Why does the Mosquito have a sorta Dracula-ish helmet haircut thing goin?

Squad Guy is a little hipper and a more contemporary feel.

But then … are those … Man Boobs?

Prominent in the Squad piece is … dead bugs. Kinda dark huh?

The only dead bug is a good bug

Whereas the Hunter has a more positive, ethnically-diverse, animal-friendly feeling happening.

You know what though? They are both White Men carrying weapons. The whole thing is a disgrace and I don’t want to have anything to do with them.

Let the Mosquitos take over!