Vitamins, Shmitavins! Highlight The Exotic Ingredient

Roman can only make so much money as yet-another-joint-delivering-Viagra-to-your-door, so why not vitamins? BUT, vitamins are so … A, B, B12, C. And if they list out the ingredients that’s just not as cool with the slick graphics and photos.

African Pygmy Stuff So Cool

Why don’t we list this one really exotic ingredient that does who-the-hell-knows what as the very last oneBOOM!

They’ll buy it! Who wouldn’t?

Marketing By Crazy J

On the subway, a rather sloppy ad for The Guardian Angels.  It’s not like they bought ad space and have an agency running their campaign.

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That’s what happens when you have CRAZY J handling your media.

Exile On Main Street, Apartment 6F, Leave With Doorman

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I think when Home Depot sponsored Nine Inch Nails’ “Sheetrock Tour” the Stones were all:

“WHO DOES TRENT REZNOR THINK HE IS?!  GET US A CORPORATE SPONSOR NOW!!”

other bonus throwaway jokes include:

“Can’t ya hear me knockin’ because this package cannot be delivered without a signature”

“I can’t get no overnight shipping”

“Sympathy For The Bubble Wrap”

“Give my 2 pound package shelter”

 

Because It’s Illegal To Be Naked?

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Because otherwise we would scare the children?

 

Why?  Did I screw up getting dressed again??  Shit!!

 

I dunno.  Why do you advertise?

 

Because loincloths are SO 10,000 BC?

 

Because you came up with an ad campaign so stupid I could write these jokes all day

Dr. Superhero Alarm Truck Metaphor Mess

You’re a doctor, but you’re in tights like a superhero.

You don’t have a cape but you have a white coat on.

You’re clearly about all kinds of alarms, but you just happen to throw in “medical alerts too?!”

DUDE … WHAT ARE YOU!?!?