Sometimes Marketing Madness Gets Papered Over By Social Distancing

They could have made a sign big enough to cover up the elevator ad in this hotel promoting their meeting spaces.

Elevator Bank 1 Elevator Bank 2 Elevator Bank 3

But, ahh, it’s a Global Pandemic! Just don’t kill each other okay?? We can meet in a conference room later.

And if you read the signs carefully through elevator banks 1, 2 and 3 you can see that they are talking about “Meeting in style in the heart of the Main Line.” Oh yeah that…

SHHH!! They’ll Never Know We’re Not Whole Foods!

I wonder if the owner of this bodega on the Lower East Side was like:

“What the hell? If we get just a few more customers wandering in because they think we’re Whole Foods, it’ll be worth getting the name.”

Whole Sorta Like Foods Almost

And, that children, is how The Wholesome Foods Bodega got its name! Okay, everybody night night!!

Store Window Display Task Host Force Restart

The window display of the Loft store at one of the most prominent locations on planet earth, 42nd and Broadway, should make a strong impression.Ground Zero For Shopping NYC

But what is this? It looks … hmm … can’t really see much on display here.

Look in the window ... it's ... nothing!Well now wait a second, there is SOMETHING.

Yes it’s a Windows Error in the Window.

Vitamins, Shmitavins! Highlight The Exotic Ingredient

Roman can only make so much money as yet-another-joint-delivering-Viagra-to-your-door, so why not vitamins? BUT, vitamins are so … A, B, B12, C. And if they list out the ingredients that’s just not as cool with the slick graphics and photos.

African Pygmy Stuff So Cool

Why don’t we list this one really exotic ingredient that does who-the-hell-knows what as the very last oneBOOM!

They’ll buy it! Who wouldn’t?

Marketing By Crazy J

On the subway, a rather sloppy ad for The Guardian Angels.  It’s not like they bought ad space and have an agency running their campaign.

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That’s what happens when you have CRAZY J handling your media.

Exile On Main Street, Apartment 6F, Leave With Doorman

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I think when Home Depot sponsored Nine Inch Nails’ “Sheetrock Tour” the Stones were all:

“WHO DOES TRENT REZNOR THINK HE IS?!  GET US A CORPORATE SPONSOR NOW!!”

other bonus throwaway jokes include:

“Can’t ya hear me knockin’ because this package cannot be delivered without a signature”

“I can’t get no overnight shipping”

“Sympathy For The Bubble Wrap”

“Give my 2 pound package shelter”

 

Because It’s Illegal To Be Naked?

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Because otherwise we would scare the children?

 

Why?  Did I screw up getting dressed again??  Shit!!

 

I dunno.  Why do you advertise?

 

Because loincloths are SO 10,000 BC?

 

Because you came up with an ad campaign so stupid I could write these jokes all day

Dr. Superhero Alarm Truck Metaphor Mess

You’re a doctor, but you’re in tights like a superhero.

You don’t have a cape but you have a white coat on.

You’re clearly about all kinds of alarms, but you just happen to throw in “medical alerts too?!”

DUDE … WHAT ARE YOU!?!?