web marketing – The Museum Of Marketing Madness

There Is Copy. Then There Is Black Friday Copy

This is just lazy copy.
“There are deals. Then there is FREE.”

No it’s not “free,” it’s a 14-day trial. Oh sorry.

Deal. Shmeal. Copy. Sloppy. Fucky Sucky.

Will The Stock Photographer On LSD Please Stop Shooting

Brain Gumball What The Fucking Fuck

No I mean it. In the nicest way, stop.

This raises a LOT of questions, including:

What makes you think this connotes learning or intelligence.
Where did you find small colored brains to fit into a gumball machine?
Do you realize you are reducing brain power and knowledge to the simplicity of putting a quarter in a slot and turning a crank??
After I put the coin in and turn the crank does this mean I can then use that brain or has it been severed from its original host and is now just a mass of neurons and with no awareness or functional capability??

I guess I should mention this was taken from my day job’s company’s website for internal training. That is why a lotta stuff is redacted. But you can see who is responsible for this mess. Yeah, those people!

Those Smart Domain Squatters Know How To Monetize It, I Tell Ya!

The internet, as we all know, is a license to print money. Look what THIS genius did who owns the domain www.nysiloam.com.

Raking it in selling Boy Suit black tuxedo 5pcs with free Shirt and tie!

This URL is a gold mine. For Boys In Suits

All because people stumble in looking for, umm … how did I get here? I think I was looking for “loam.”

But now I want a boy’s suit and tie shirt black tuxedo 5 pieces of something click for more information tie jacket boy haircut might be missing his right arm spikey hair suit. Must have….

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Contextual Advertising At Its Best

A little old but worth a laugh. One of those fan sites supported by advertising, in this case, QuiBids (another web business of questionable practicality) buys ad space wherever the hell and … lo and behold … with the word “mix” on the site then there’s just a chance someone might be thinking:

“I need a mixer for that cake. Because Drake likes cake. He likes to bake. And take a flake …” Drake Cake Mix

Oh fuck the cake and Drake and the mixer and elixir and … and ……

I Haven’t Even READ This Email And I’m Mad…

Email Marketing Madness Rule #214: Don’t make your subject too cute or you could be ridiculed for its cuteness.

I haven't even started with you... Without naming names, you can see it came from a company’s “Talent Acquisition” Team. I still don’t get what they’re smiling about.

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How ‘Bout A Sandwich? An Order? A Menu? A Responsibility???

Corporations want us to know they care. They want us to know SO badly, it’s mixed up with whatever the hell else they’re selling. The navigation on the Subway website (they make sandwiches, remember) smears the borders with a main nav item for “Responsibility”