Sorry for cursing. This one was asking for it.
The Museum Of Marketing Madness
Curating, skewering and roasting the worst of advertising to comic perfection
I like my version better but I guess they had to go with alliteration on this one.
This could also be rearranged to say:
” Drinking Drugging Looking Pretty”
Marketing Skeptic: “I bet you can’t make toilet paper hip.”
Marketing Guru: “I can make blood soaked gauze that covers scabs cool!”
Marketing Skeptic: “I dare you!”
Marketing Guru: “Watch me!”
Admit it. You don’t even know what it is but you want to buy it because the graphics are cool.
With prices like these, you’ll be slashing your wrists just to use them!
When you’re ready to blow 10 to 13 dollars on band aids, everything is insane.
The window display of the Loft store at one of the most prominent locations on planet earth, 42nd and Broadway, should make a strong impression.
But what is this? It looks … hmm … can’t really see much on display here.
Well now wait a second, there is SOMETHING.
Yes it’s a Windows Error in the Window.
I spotted these manikins a few years back and thought: “What the hell? Half-headed, white stylized human figures … something’s not right!” If only I could make a joke out of it.
But then I spotted these creatures …
Real Live, Old School, Childhood Nightmare Manikins and realized ….
“OHH!! The half-headed manikins are weird. But plain, old manikins are absolutely horrifying!”
Oh sure! Just use a basket.
And then what!? Do I walk through the store and, what, just pull things off the shelf and put them in the basket?! And then, when I think I’ve had enough … what?? … I just make my way out of the store!?! And show someone what I picked out!? And they’re going to let me walk the hell out of there and all I have to do is pay for it!!?? Yeah right … SOOO EASY!!
Put these signs up all over the place and think we’re gonna just get sucked right into it. Nope! Not me!
I want difficult shopping! Impossibly complex, painful shopping! No signs telling me what to do. I want to wander aimlessly on my hands and knees, crawling around unable to see a thing, bumping into people’s legs, having heavy cans fall off the shelf onto my head and wind up unconscious and carried out of the store by security. Now THAT’S SHOPPING!!
DON’T BELIEVE THE SIGNS IN STORES PEOPLE!!!!
…but if it shuts them up while we’re shopping, who cares?
Everybody knows sales drop off the closer you get to the freight elevator.
The Manager had to find a place to shove the Deer Park water bottles they were pushing. Knowing this was not a good spot he asked one of the stock boys to make a simple sign, nothing fancy. Good signage is the mark of smart marketing.
And there it is.
And the stuff just flew off the shelves. Flew.