Prime Day is Amazon stretching social engineering tactics to make us think it’s actually Christmas in June and “we must shop.” But hyping a “Final Trailer” for a movie is like getting us to buy the box for the thing — without the thing.
I wonder if the owner of this bodega on the Lower East Side was like:
“What the hell? If we get just a few more customers wandering in because they think we’re Whole Foods, it’ll be worth getting the name.”
And, that children, is how The Wholesome Foods Bodega got its name! Okay, everybody night night!!
A large conference room with COPYWRITERS 1, 2, 3 and 4 and the BOSS, an all-too-typical balding white guy in his 40s, chewing on pistachios. On the table are a whole lot of colored circular sponges with holes in them.
We WILL NOT be just be another spongey cleaning product!? Yeah there’s a smiley face on it but, so what? This calls for a gimmick. Some kinda name, I wanna personalize it.
Nahh … misogynist
What?! Sounds too much like Butt Wipe
Sounds like some old friend who comes by asking for money!
COPYWRITER 4 (the good copywriter)
What about something cute, like Mommy, Daddy. Scrub Mommy, Scrub Daddy…?
NOW YOU’RE TALKIN’!! Why can’t the rest of you be like Copywriter 4 who always nails it!?
And so, Children of Scrub Mommy and Daddy … that’s the story of how your parents came to be. Now, lights out and sweet dreams……
From 2 competing direct-mail pieces doing the same damned thing arriving on the same damned day:
Okay, so Mosquito Hunter has a nice sorta Nigel Thornberry (Of the Wild Thornberry’s cartoon) vibe.
But, really, he’s kinda holding the mosquito like a pet.
Then again, he’s about to crush the bastard.
Why does the Mosquito have a sorta Dracula-ish helmet haircut thing goin?
Squad Guy is a little hipper and a more contemporary feel.
But then … are those … Man Boobs?
Prominent in the Squad piece is … dead bugs. Kinda dark huh?
Whereas the Hunter has a more positive, ethnically-diverse, animal-friendly feeling happening.
You know what though? They are both White Men carrying weapons. The whole thing is a disgrace and I don’t want to have anything to do with them.
Let the Mosquitos take over!
I can just hear the ideas bouncing around the JellyBelly conference room:
“We are getting killed … KILLED … by Swedish Fish!”
“Quick! Another animal. From another place.”
“Now you’re talking!!”
And Children, THAT’S the true story of how Scottie Dogs came to be!!
The internet, as we all know, is a license to print money. Look what THIS genius did who owns the domain www.nysiloam.com.
Raking it in selling Boy Suit black tuxedo 5pcs with free Shirt and tie!
All because people stumble in looking for, umm … how did I get here? I think I was looking for “loam.”
But now I want a boy’s suit and tie shirt black tuxedo 5 pieces of something click for more information tie jacket boy haircut might be missing his right arm spikey hair suit. Must have….
Let’s face it. They came up with the name “MAOZ” getting wasted in Amsterdam back in 1991. That’s why it has ‘no specific meaning’ — they don’t even remember!
Okay, Moleskine makes nice notebooks. But don’t try so hard to make them seem cool with some crap about Analog Clouds. I don’t want to buy them because they’re trying to be cool. That’s just not cool.