Look Over Here! It’s An Ad For Kah Chof Kah Fie Seh!!

Kah Chok Fee Ess
Let’s review:

  1. OKAY: Everybody’s attention is sliced into so much click bait and streaming media nobody has attention anymore and — oh look shiny objects … what was I saying? Oh yeah, advertisers go hard for eyeballs! “TV! Websites! Celebrities! What about … COFFEE SLEEVES? We can grab ’em there!”
  2. BUT: Y’know, coffee makes a horrible stain. How do you clean stains? Detergent! But how to make people buy detergent when they’re drinking coffee … and you are NOT allowed to put detergent in their coffee…hmm? How about … we put something on the coffee cup or something.
  3. AND: Detergent ads: so Old Skool Mad Men. We be cool and hip and do a logo and a website and a rhyme ya “Stain Brain” you, and a gimmick and copy and design and everybody get busy and create! We have awards to win!!
  4. GO: Make up words. Or play with words. More! MORE!! Letters!! HURRY … campaign … not much time … Coffee Sleeves to printer, run of 87 million!
  5. PLUS: Gimme some tagline for this all. How about: “Style is an option. Clean is not”
  6. stain brain drain pain
  7. WAIT: WTF?! Is style an option? Is clean not an option? Why is clean not an option? Could style not be an option? Does you brain have a stain on it trying to reason this through? Hang on … we are not done! Say this out loud with me:

KAH-CHOF-KAH-FIE-SEH!!!

HOORAY!!! Advertising Sells Everything!

Beyond The Bed And The Bath Is … The Home

So the Big Box Bed Bath & Beyond isn’t really a store after Covid because retail is dead and we’re all stuck at home. How will they spin that and make us feel better?

Home Bath Bed Head Beyond Dead

Easy!

  • Home, happier
  • Shop, lazily
  • Deliver, immediately

The Big Box Stores are now warehouses for our stuff. Happier?

All Things Stupidy

Wordplay is not a game and should only be done by professionals. This contractor may know his basements but hasn’t learned: you can’t create an adjective by adding a ‘y.’

NOTHING is ‘basementy’ so all things canNOT be basementy.

And, btw, dude. The umbrella. Not basementy in the least. Srsly?!

Why Copywriters Should Never Do Math

Stick with the words copy peoples! I’m trying to resolve this equation and it’s just not coming out.

Chobani Transform

Do I add the Immune Health + Digestive Health + Gut Health and get Immune Digestive Gut over 3Health?

OR?

Add Peach Blended Yogurt + Immune Digestive Gut divided by 3Health or am I dividing the Immune Digestive Gut 3 Health INTO the Peach Blended Yogurt?

And isn’t Peach Blended Yogurt a set whose members are Immune Digestive Gut 3Health? I may be overthinking this one but clearly the copywriter was not thinking.

Do We Really Need A Logo Here?

Think of the poor designer who was saddled with this assignment.  And copywriter.

It’s a soap dispenser.  Yeah, it’s foamy.  Maybe, by virtue of the foamy it is light.  But does it need to be called Light and Foamy?

lightfoamy3 lightfoamy2

And, let’s not forget, the attorney who filed the register Lite’n Foamy

 

liten-foamy-logo-copy