- OKAY: Everybody’s attention is sliced into so much click bait and streaming media nobody has attention anymore and — oh look shiny objects … what was I saying? Oh yeah, advertisers go hard for eyeballs! “TV! Websites! Celebrities! What about … COFFEE SLEEVES? We can grab ’em there!”
- BUT: Y’know, coffee makes a horrible stain. How do you clean stains? Detergent! But how to make people buy detergent when they’re drinking coffee … and you are NOT allowed to put detergent in their coffee…hmm? How about … we put something on the coffee cup or something.
- AND: Detergent ads: so Old Skool Mad Men. We be cool and hip and do a logo and a website and a rhyme ya “Stain Brain” you, and a gimmick and copy and design and everybody get busy and create! We have awards to win!!
- GO: Make up words. Or play with words. More! MORE!! Letters!! HURRY … campaign … not much time … Coffee Sleeves to printer, run of 87 million!
- PLUS: Gimme some tagline for this all. How about: “Style is an option. Clean is not”
- WAIT: WTF?! Is style an option? Is clean not an option? Why is clean not an option? Could style not be an option? Does you brain have a stain on it trying to reason this through? Hang on … we are not done! Say this out loud with me:
HOORAY!!! Advertising Sells Everything!
It’s almost like a secret coded message to the IT business people out there. That is … if they have their special decoder rings.
Study it carefully, and see how the C3 people are trying to get some Magic Microsoft and Adobe tech dust rubbing off on them. Nice try C3.
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The Advertising Will Make You Throw Up
It’s the comedy rule of threes. If you have 2 statements, you need that third to make it funny.
So the Big Box Bed Bath & Beyond isn’t really a store after Covid because retail is dead and we’re all stuck at home. How will they spin that and make us feel better?
- Home, happier
- Shop, lazily
- Deliver, immediately
The Big Box Stores are now warehouses for our stuff. Happier?
Wordplay is not a game and should only be done by professionals. This contractor may know his basements but hasn’t learned:
YOU CAN’T CREATE AN ADJECTIVE BY ADDING A ‘Y.’
NOTHING is ‘basementy’ so all things canNOT be basementy.
And, btw, dude. The umbrella. Not basementy in the least. Srsly?!
Stick with the words copy peoples! I’m trying to resolve this equation and it’s just not coming out.
Do I add the Immune Health + Digestive Health + Gut Health and get Immune Digestive Gut over 3Health?
Add Peach Blended Yogurt + Immune Digestive Gut divided by 3Health or am I dividing the Immune Digestive Gut 3 Health INTO the Peach Blended Yogurt?
And isn’t Peach Blended Yogurt a set whose members are Immune Digestive Gut 3Health? I may be overthinking this one but clearly the copywriter was not thinking.
From Bill & Ted’s Excellent Catalog of Office Supplies
Make them wear this frilly, little hard hat liner and emasculate the hell out of ’em! The Hardliner will also minimize the impact of macho traits such as tattoos, standing with arms folded and chewing on toothpicks.
This is just naughty. I’m sorry … it just is.