Roman can only make so much money as yet-another-joint-delivering-Viagra-to-your-door, so why not vitamins? BUT, vitamins are so … A, B, B12, C. And if they list out the ingredients that’s just not as cool with the slick graphics and photos.
Why don’t we list this one really exotic ingredient that does who-the-hell-knows what as the very last one … BOOM!
They’ll buy it! Who wouldn’t?
Well I talked to Nature and she said:
“I would never drink soda! I can drink ANY mineral water I want since I created them all! At the end of a long day, however, I do love a fine glass of Chevalier-Montrachet La Cabotte Chardonnay.
“Sierra Mist?? I friggin’ created the real mist IN the Sierras!! There’s no sugar in that! In fact, smartypants, the Sierras are not known for mist as the air rarely gets oversaturated with moisture. Just sayin'”
…or THE SOURCE OF ALL TRUTH!!??
Because a river view is only as good if it can’t be blocked by, oh, another river view apartment building.
How do you get kids to eat crappy food? Why create a cartoon character and have him him/her do surreal, physically impossible things, of course!?! …with cheese….
I guess it’s better than saying:
FOOD SHOULD NOT KILL YOU
I think when Home Depot sponsored Nine Inch Nails’ “Sheetrock Tour” the Stones were all:
“WHO DOES TRENT REZNOR THINK HE IS?! GET US A CORPORATE SPONSOR NOW!!”
other bonus throwaway jokes include:
“Can’t ya hear me knockin’ because this package cannot be delivered without a signature”
“I can’t get no overnight shipping”
“Sympathy For The Bubble Wrap”
“Give my 2 pound package shelter”
Coca-Cola spends billions on advertising. Maybe even trillions … trust me, it’s a lot of money. So every logo, every package, every piece of copy has been tested, researched, analyzed and designed to flawless diamond precision.
Then what happened here?
We have Cherry Coke, with your prominent cherries falling from a reddish, almost nuclear winter kinda sky. A little weird but okay. Where are we?
Just a bunch of monolithic buildings or structures, ominous, eerie. And way over here in one spot is this … this pattern. Looks like a … huh I dunno … mandrill.
A mandrill. Yeah that’s right.
Marketing Madness Rule #21 – Incorporate the industry lingo into the copy … no matter how ridiculous. It’ll be worth it.
I’ll say this for marketers of well-known, brand name products: they are more selective and creative when naming their brands. At the health food store, there’s just no imagination whatsoever.