Vitamins, Shmitavins! Highlight The Exotic Ingredient

Roman can only make so much money as yet-another-joint-delivering-Viagra-to-your-door, so why not vitamins? BUT, vitamins are so … A, B, B12, C. And if they list out the ingredients that’s just not as cool with the slick graphics and photos.

African Pygmy Stuff So Cool

Why don’t we list this one really exotic ingredient that does who-the-hell-knows what as the very last oneBOOM!

They’ll buy it! Who wouldn’t?

Did Anybody Ask Nature What SHE Thinks?

 

Well I talked to Nature and she said:

“I would never drink soda! I can drink ANY mineral water I want since I created them all! At the end of a long day, however, I do love a fine glass of Chevalier-Montrachet La Cabotte Chardonnay.

“Sierra Mist?? I friggin’ created the real mist IN the Sierras!! There’s no sugar in that! In fact, smartypants, the Sierras are not known for mist as the air rarely gets oversaturated with moisture. Just sayin'”

Exile On Main Street, Apartment 6F, Leave With Doorman

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I think when Home Depot sponsored Nine Inch Nails’ “Sheetrock Tour” the Stones were all:

“WHO DOES TRENT REZNOR THINK HE IS?!  GET US A CORPORATE SPONSOR NOW!!”

other bonus throwaway jokes include:

“Can’t ya hear me knockin’ because this package cannot be delivered without a signature”

“I can’t get no overnight shipping”

“Sympathy For The Bubble Wrap”

“Give my 2 pound package shelter”

 

Cherry Coke – Mandrill Edition

Coca-Cola spends billions on advertising. Maybe even trillions … trust me, it’s a lot of money. So every logo, every package, every piece of copy has been tested, researched, analyzed and designed to flawless diamond precision.

Then what happened here?

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We have Cherry Coke, with your prominent cherries falling from a reddish, almost nuclear winter kinda sky. A little weird but okay. Where are we?
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Just a bunch of monolithic buildings or structures, ominous, eerie. And way over here in one spot is this … this pattern. Looks like a … huh I dunno … mandrill.
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A mandrill.  Yeah that’s right.  c0217dc0d21e45e5c6ed315adb768c53