signs – The Museum Of Marketing Madness

From Meerkat National Bank

Meerkat National Bank

Meerkats are small animals.
Meerkats spend a lot of time underground.
Meerkats know absolutely nothing about cybersecurity.

They are cute … I’ll give them that.

Give A Sh#$. It’s The Least You Could Do…

Sorry for cursing. This one was asking for it.

Give A Shit Or A Card ... it doesn't matter.

Srsly?!

This is how you market holiday cards? Slap a pale yellow 11 by 17 card in front of the cards saying Give a card??!

Fail!

Please, Just Make An Effort To Market

I’m surprised they even bothered to cut the cardboard in that sorta exploding border thing. Otherwise, this is just sad.

desperateBuyIt

Then again, this is just by the freight elevator (on the right), not a heavily trafficked part of the store.

When All Else Fails With Copy, Just Say “AAAH”

or worse
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Is anyone even paying attention?

NAAAAAHHHH!!!

Conserve Energy By Crushing Lightbulbs

Someone selected the wrong stock graphic for this pipe insulation utility truck.

We Can Read Your Mind And You Need Pipes Covered

Maybe they’re saying, if you put lightbulbs into these gears we can crush and pulverize them and that will save you energy because you won’t have lightbulbs anymore.

Crush Lightbulbs In Gears — image courtesy of New Age Images of Heads

Drugs Pictures Drinking Pretty

I like my version better but I guess they had to go with alliteration on this one.

Every single thing CVS has in 4 words

This could also be rearranged to say:

” Drinking Drugging Looking Pretty”

General People Mills Food

Ahh… where to go with this?

Are they saying:

We are making FOOD, PEOPLE?!! Got that?!!

OR

We are manufacturing a special food which is called “Food People”

OR

We are converting food into people

which means…

WE ARE ALL EATING EACH OTHER

The bottom line:
it means NOTHING!!!

People Are Food We Make And Then EAT!

I See Dead Potatoes

When I see a potato, I don’t see possibilities.

I see a potato.

I

Sometimes Marketing Madness Gets Papered Over By Social Distancing

They could have made a sign big enough to cover up the elevator ad in this hotel promoting their meeting spaces.

Elevator Bank 1 Elevator Bank 2 Elevator Bank 3

But, ahh, it’s a Global Pandemic! Just don’t kill each other okay?? We can meet in a conference room later.

And if you read the signs carefully through elevator banks 1, 2 and 3 you can see that they are talking about “Meeting in style in the heart of the Main Line.” Oh yeah that…

Look At My Face On The Side Of A Building With Rectanguler Holes In My Head!!

Got this mailer for one of those financial advisors offering a webinar to help with retirement. I ask you: Why would I give my money to a guy who has gaping rectangular holes in his head!? WHY!?!?

Naz Dick Nas Dick Head

Yes, yes we know it’s supposed to be the Nasdaq building in Times Square.

640px-NYC_-_Midtown_Manhattan_–_Times_Square_–_Broadway_by_night_-_panoramio_(2)

But it is also your face on a building with GAPING RECTANGULAR HOLES IN YOUR HEAD!!