Author: lrsachs
Artisanal Cotton Candy Was Sold Out
It’s like a carnival-in-a-bag.
If You Are Advertising Then You Are Advertising Already
This is sort of a recursive version of that sign near a development off the highway that says, “If you lived here you’d be home by now.”
But by this logic, if YOU are reading this and your CUSTOMERS are reading this then why don’t you just go talk to your customers who are reading this over your shoulder instead of advertising inside a shopping cart??
This Is Why They Don’t Let Dogs Shop
Because a dog wouldn’t care if this looked like a Doritos bag or Lays potato chips. 
Then again, dogs don’t carry cash so they couldn’t buy this anyway.
Can’t Build Me I’m The Gingerbread House (in a box)!
Skip the mixing, the rolling pin, the cookie cutter, the oven and the baking and just open the box and EAT the damned crap!
Yes, nothing goes better with the spicy, sweet flavor of gingerbread than a candy that is so sour it makes you gag and pucker!!
This sour patch kid looks pissed off because he’s been stuck to the side of a house.
Includes Oreo cookies!?! I had NO idea!!!
Because With Global Warming There Is Less Snow!
Plus … it’s a lot cleaner! And it’s a new use for one of the more heinous forms of non-biodegradable waste!
Check out the helpful reminder:
How ’bout the game of “Destroy The Planet With Toxic Waste!!”
Give A Sh#$. It’s The Least You Could Do…
Sorry for cursing. This one was asking for it.
Srsly?!
This is how you market holiday cards? Slap a pale yellow 11 by 17 card in front of the cards saying Give a card??!
Fail!
Please, Just Make An Effort To Market
I’m surprised they even bothered to cut the cardboard in that sorta exploding border thing. Otherwise, this is just sad.
Then again, this is just by the freight elevator (on the right), not a heavily trafficked part of the store.
