Vitamins, Shmitavins! Highlight The Exotic Ingredient

Roman can only make so much money as yet-another-joint-delivering-Viagra-to-your-door, so why not vitamins? BUT, vitamins are so … A, B, B12, C. And if they list out the ingredients that’s just not as cool with the slick graphics and photos.

African Pygmy Stuff So Cool

Why don’t we list this one really exotic ingredient that does who-the-hell-knows what as the very last oneBOOM!

They’ll buy it! Who wouldn’t?

Enticing, Mouth-Watering Words For A Restaurant Website

Restaurants Are BACK!! And what better way to emphasize that than to include links on your website like “Scratch Kitchen,” “Whole Homemade Desserts,” “40 Craft Beers,” and “COVID MITIGATION”

Covid Cheese and Crackers

…and why not further hook those hungry customers so when they click on “COVID MITIGATION” they see more gustatory verbiage, like “Virus Vaporizing”

Virus Vaporizing For Dinner
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Beyond The Bed And The Bath Is … The Home

So the Big Box Bed Bath & Beyond isn’t really a store after Covid because retail is dead and we’re all stuck at home. How will they spin that and make us feel better?

Home Bath Bed Head Beyond Dead

Easy!

  • Home, happier
  • Shop, lazily
  • Deliver, immediately

The Big Box Stores are now warehouses for our stuff. Happier?