Category: digital media
Inside This Tiny Mobile Banner Is A Story…
… except nobody knows WTF the story is about.
I think the story is:
Don’t worry about falling out of the roller coaster that is the stock market because the guy much smaller than you in the cherry picker you will try to catch you.
And he has a hard hat on and a yellow vest so that will help when he tries to catch you.
I think.
Because There Can Only Be ONE Marketing-Focused SaaS Startup With A Cute Primate-Related Name And Mailchimp Wins
This is one of those incredibly important things to a very small number of people who give a shit and something trivial and inconsequential to everyone else on the planet.
I’m so glad I don’t give a shit.
Amazon Prime Trailer Day – Last Chance!
Prime Day is Amazon stretching social engineering tactics to make us think it’s actually Christmas in June and “we must shop.” But hyping a “Final Trailer” for a movie is like getting us to buy the box for the thing — without the thing.
Don’t Strain Yourself Copywriters!
Apple’s advertising used to be a little more sophisticated but this is just feeble.
“Dude … our stuff is SOOO cool we show a picture of the BACK of it and people friggin buy!”
WTF Wonder Woman WW84 WB??!
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As I noted in my additional comment on this Instagram post, if you ask “why?” it’s because it was a Pre-Covid Big Budget Blockbuster which cost HBO Max parent Warner Brothers $978 million to make and should have raked in $37 billion had it only been released in theaters but it wasn’t so they’re basically saying,
“Can you watch this again so we can feel like our email campaign has some effect and maybe we win a few dozen subscribers for $9.99 a month … pretty please?”
btw, support me on Patreon because this is a lotta work this Museum thing:
Instagram messed up my carefully crafted image so here’s the thing in All Its Annotated Glory:
Those Smart Domain Squatters Know How To Monetize It, I Tell Ya!
The internet, as we all know, is a license to print money. Look what THIS genius did who owns the domain www.nysiloam.com.
Raking it in selling Boy Suit black tuxedo 5pcs with free Shirt and tie!
All because people stumble in looking for, umm … how did I get here? I think I was looking for “loam.”
But now I want a boy’s suit and tie shirt black tuxedo 5 pieces of something click for more information tie jacket boy haircut might be missing his right arm spikey hair suit. Must have….
Contextual Advertising At Its Best
A little old but worth a laugh. One of those fan sites supported by advertising, in this case, QuiBids (another web business of questionable practicality) buys ad space wherever the hell and … lo and behold … with the word “mix” on the site then there’s just a chance someone might be thinking:
“I need a mixer for that cake. Because Drake likes cake. He likes to bake. And take a flake …” 
Oh fuck the cake and Drake and the mixer and elixir and … and ……
I Don’t Care How Cool Apple and Jony Ive Is…
… when an ad for the “3 Worst Prostate Foods” translucently floats in, it’s no longer cool.
I Haven’t Even READ This Email And I’m Mad…
Email Marketing Madness Rule #214: Don’t make your subject too cute or you could be ridiculed for its cuteness.
Without naming names, you can see it came from a company’s “Talent Acquisition” Team. I still don’t get what they’re smiling about.