You Mean THAT Victoria’s Secret??!

“OMG!!?  The one in Shanghai??!  And Moscow?!”

vikkissecret1

A non-event: opening yet another Victoria’s Secret.

Same store as Paducah KY and Wauwatosa WI and Tusaloosa AL and Schenectady NY and Fargo ND and …

If You Buy This, Something Will Happen … Can’t Explain It. But It’s Something

USAirDividendMiles

Sign up with this energy company and get 5,000 US Airways dividend miles. Maybe?  

The copywriter stared at a lamp too long, got hypnotized and the lamp wrote the copy so the premise is that the lamp gets to stay on.  Huh?

Well, see, you’ll get energy so cheap from Energy Plus, that you’ll leave lights on.  And while those lights are on, you’ll earn miles.  And the jet engine’s silhouette will glow an eerie white on the lampshade.  And you can fly all over the world…for free.  And burn jet fuel…and increase your carbon footprint…and all these good things happen just because you stared at that lamp. 

Love the Lamp…it is your friend.  

Adult Pretzels

There really is nothing “adult” about these pretzels.  In fact, I’m feeling immature making fun of this.

nutz_rodz_jeez

But I mean, c’mon!  Nutzels and Rods???

Remind me to use this one when I present The Museum of Marketing Madness to high school boys.

Dead Man Shaving


 

The B&W photo.

Just the neck and the nose.

The cryptic headline.

This isn’t an ad for a shave.  This mob guy is about to get his throat slit.

 


deadmanShave

Nightmare For A Chicken

IMG_5982

No imagination here.  What kinda food truck is this beyond that they have chicken?  So, unable to conjure any sorta hook, they just say “Dream Chicken.”  Maybe for you, but for the chicken happily spreading his wings, eyes bulging      …      THIS   IS      NO          DREAM.