…or THE SOURCE OF ALL TRUTH!!??
Author: lrsachs
We Promise We Will Land At An Airport
From the Museum of Marketing Madness Archives, I know they merged back in 2012 with United. But even before the merger, and things were sloppy, this is just sad.
Our commitment remains the same: When you fly in our planes, you will land. You might land in the wrong airport. You might crash.
But you will land.
Just Repeat, Repeat
From the Copywriting School of Repetition, another example of ridiculous repetition for the sake of repetition, repetition.
We see this so often, it seems normal. It’s not normal.
It’s not even normal, normal.
Let Us Pray … and Play … Squash and Ski and Hike
Purchasing a friend’s book: What Was Lost: Seeing Refuge In The Psalms (for my 91 year old mother no less), Amazon knows exactly what I might want to purchase next.
It’s SO obvious, in fact, I’m kinda pissed because I have to go back and add the Tecnifibre Carboflex Squash Racquet and Oakley Flight Deck XM Ski Goggles to that purchase for my mother.
Damn you Amazon Continue Shopping Algorithm!!
Dude, Where’s My Paper?
From Bill & Ted’s Excellent Catalog of Office Supplies
Pretty Much Covers All The Bases
With a sign like this it’s that simple; your customer knows who you are and what you sell.
None of this “Old Navy,” “Banana Republic,” “Victoria’s Secret” vagueness.
Color Makes You Stare Blankly
Between the statement “Color Makes You Happy” and the expression of unbridled joy on these manikins faces … the message is clear.
Photos, Circuit boards, Pest control
I get it. You put some software-as-a-service on the web and you’ll make some money off the advertising, helping people convert their SVGs to PNGs. That explains the ad for the “My Heritage” site and the Abacus Technologies, white glove circuit board thing. But, pest control. I mean, yeah computers have ‘bugs’ but srsly??
Never Be Intimidated By Hard Hat-Wearing Employees Again!
Make them wear this frilly, little hard hat liner and emasculate the hell out of ’em! The Hardliner will also minimize the impact of macho traits such as tattoos, standing with arms folded and chewing on toothpicks.
But What If They Build An Apartment IN The River??
“Possibly.”
Because a river view is only as good if it can’t be blocked by, oh, another river view apartment building.