The salad doesn’t need a spokesperson. The salad doesn’t even need to speak.
This is copy for copy’s sake. Ya can’t just put a picture of a salad out there and say, “Look at this nice salad.”
Where’s the attitude? Where’s the word play? Where’s the sizzle?
(Actually, there shouldn’t be ‘sizzle’ because this is salad and nobody wants their salad sizzling.)
One picture is worth a thousand calories. One salad is worth … well, whatever they charge for all the toppings, plus tax … and you’ll need a drink so it’s probably about 13 bucks.
Ya need some words that say something, that speak for the salad. So, really, by virtue of the sign and the copy, you’re speaking for the salad, asshole! The salad DOES need a spokesperson! You’re contradicting yourself, Copywriter!!
But can we blame the copywriter? She probably was so sick and tired of coming up with stuff to say about salad she figured she’d do the old switcheroo on us and let the salad do the talking. And, the poor copywriter works for a company called … JUST SALAD!
So really, this is a cry for help from the copywriter. This is basically the copywriter pleading with the world …
DON’T MAKE ME WRITE MORE COPY ABOUT SALAD!! I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!
And then she reasoned:
I know what to do!!
I will put words in the salad’s mouth.
And you will put the salad on your mouth.
Maybe that was the first draft of this ad. But then the Creative Director looked at it and said,
What the fuck are you talking about? Have you lost your fucking mind?! Now go back and write some proper copy!
But she couldn’t let go of the talking salad idea. And needed to play it out. And that’s how we wound up with this dreck. By the way, the salad sign is on a thing we call a sandwich board. (more fucked up nonsense).
