Kinda like “shampoo and conditioner” but worse.
A monologue which attempts to explain WTF this site is all about.
Seriously. This is what they call these things … and you know you’ve seen one. A tub of lip balm…branded with the company’s logo on it.
But, MORE seriously. Lip Tub Balm collaborated with Thich Nhat Hanh on a book of aphorisms and meditative musings called:
From: Outside // To: Inside
So wait, does this mean “Iron Means Iron?” Or does the first iron cancel out the second iron and that they are really saying is “MEANS?!” I think I just blew my own mind.
I think the right-to-life movement may take issue with this. Life begins at conception…not when you try 3-cheese queso. Right?
Okay, Moleskine makes nice notebooks. But don’t try so hard to make them seem cool with some crap about Analog Clouds. I don’t want to buy them because they’re trying to be cool. That’s just not cool.
Sometimes you just wonder why they bother to write these things on a package. The cheapest food in the world doesn’t need sexy. But it wold look empty with just the oh-so-generic brand Pasta USA and the photo. So the designer just had to say something. That explains it.
Sometimes Marketing Madness slips in unnoticed. Nothing unusual here. They are welcoming people back. They fixed the place up. It’s new. It’s better.
Oh yeah. I LITERALLY have to be SICK to get back here.
Welcome THIS Medical Center!
The Earth doesn’t need a tune-up. The Earth doesn’t
NEED anything…it is a PLANET! Earth is not even insulted by this.
It doesn’t even care that I’m defending it against this crappy concept.
I think when Home Depot sponsored Nine Inch Nails’ “Sheetrock Tour” the Stones were all:
“WHO DOES TRENT REZNOR THINK HE IS?! GET US A CORPORATE SPONSOR NOW!!”
other bonus throwaway jokes include:
“Can’t ya hear me knockin’ because this package cannot be delivered without a signature”
“I can’t get no overnight shipping”
“Sympathy For The Bubble Wrap”
“Give my 2 pound package shelter”