That’s why we have Funfetti®!!
Stupid colored bits of paper! That’s not fun. That is trash.
“What the hell? If we get just a few more customers wandering in because they think we’re Whole Foods, it’ll be worth getting the name.”
The world may be in terrible shape.
Covid has altered the globe.
The Middle East is a mess.
Our system of democracy is teetering.
But the Oreo Aisle (formerly the “Cookies and Crackers Aisle”) is a Reason To Celebrate.
And what better way to celebrate than Lady Gaga Oreos?
In case you were wondering what a Lady Gaga Oreo tastes like, there’s some subtle indications on the package.
Why of course! It’s inspired by … uh … is that a clump of pubic hair? What the hell is that saying. OH SURE! Gaga’s latest album or concert or cause or song or video or dress or cookie … Chromatica.
And what does Chromatica spelled with pubic hair taste like? Pink colored golden green creme stuff cookie thing crap. Say it with me now:
I can just hear the ideas bouncing around the JellyBelly conference room:
“We are getting killed … KILLED … by Swedish Fish!”
“Quick! Another animal. From another place.”
“Now you’re talking!!”
And Children, THAT’S the true story of how Scottie Dogs came to be!!
Using that mentality, someone over at the Salad Package Design Team came up with this, uh, system to help us, uh, EAT.
Gives new meaning to the expression: “My salad is off the charts!”
It’s the comedy rule of threes. If you have 2 statements, you need that third to make it funny.
Restaurants Are BACK!! And what better way to emphasize that than to include links on your website like “Scratch Kitchen,” “Whole Homemade Desserts,” “40 Craft Beers,” and “COVID MITIGATION”
…and why not further hook those hungry customers so when they click on “COVID MITIGATION” they see more gustatory verbiage, like “Virus Vaporizing”
…or THE SOURCE OF ALL TRUTH!!??
From the Copywriting School of Repetition, another example of ridiculous repetition for the sake of repetition, repetition.
We see this so often, it seems normal. It’s not normal.
It’s not even normal, normal.