You’re a chimney sweep so why not use the verb sweep in your copy! Except it reads like…
Don’t buy a used car from a used car salesman. Buy it from me: A Used Car Salesman!
And let’s not forget Faceless Gold Figure on the Ladder to Heaven … which was at one time the working title to Wim Wenders’ movie “Wings of Desire”
It’s EASY!! Just slap this little sign inside a grocery cart and everything’s all better!!
Everybody knows writers are tortured souls who only have nightmares, not “dreams.”
Sign up with this energy company and get 5,000 US Airways dividend miles. Maybe?
The copywriter stared at a lamp too long, got hypnotized and the lamp wrote the copy so the premise is that the lamp gets to stay on. Huh?
Well, see, you’ll get energy so cheap from Energy Plus, that you’ll leave lights on. And while those lights are on, you’ll earn miles. And the jet engine’s silhouette will glow an eerie white on the lampshade. And you can fly all over the world…for free. And burn jet fuel…and increase your carbon footprint…and all these good things happen just because you stared at that lamp.
Love the Lamp…it is your friend.
For this page of the Skymall catalog, the editors figured:
“Let’s put all these together…just get ’em out of the way. They’re all kind of related, right?”
For another example of Sky Mall Body Shaming, go here.
Take your sad, sports-obsessed, testosterone-fueled life and make it one thing: a big ugly giant ear, with stumpy legs and short arms.
And just stand there.
Because that’s all you are.
Maybe it’s a … sign.
Get it?? Sign?
Oh forget it…you’re drunk!
The Earth doesn’t need a tune-up. The Earth doesn’t NEED anything…it is a PLANET! Earth is not even insulted by this.
It doesn’t even care that I’m defending it against this crappy concept.
Okay, Moleskine makes nice notebooks. But don’t try so hard to make them seem cool with some crap about Analog Clouds. I don’t want to buy them because they’re trying to be cool. That’s just not cool.